Falling in Love

There’s plenty of advice and rules around for getting a girl to fall in love with you. This is not about those rules and advice. This little article focuses on the basics that can be used to strengthen a girl’s feeling of love for you. Love can’t be forced. It has to take it’s course.
Things You’ll Need:

• Patience
• Kindness
• Respect
• Sincerity
• Honesty

Step 1
If you want a girl to fall in love with you, just make her the center of your respect and admiration. Treat her well and do things that you know will make her happy. A girl will most likely fall in love with a guy when she knows she is important to him. Make her smile, make her laugh, and show her that she can be happy with you. She’ll fall in love with you because she feels happy when with you and when thinking about you.

Step 2
Offer her your support and friendship. Falling in love is about offering her a shoulder to cry on, someone to talk to, and a friend to be there when she needs one most. A woman will find it hard to open herself up to a man who cannot be her friend. In order to fall in love, a woman needs someone who will listen to her fears and troubles and know that you’re being sincere. Remember, it’s not all about you. Letting go of your expectations will also help you relax, which will make you more appealing to a girl than if you are uptight and worried.

Step 3
Give her lots of attention and lavish her with love. If you want a woman to fall in love with you, you have to show her how much she means to you. Telling her how you feel is great, but showing her your love is the key. Kiss her often, cuddle her, and do sweet things for her like making dinner, giving her a massage, or buying flowers for no particular reason. When a woman knows how much she means to you, she feels secure and this increases the chance that she’ll fall in love with you.

Step 4
Show her that you’re a sincere and genuine man. A woman needs security to fall in love, just as anyone does, and if you show her that your feelings and intentions are real, she’ll be more likely to fall head over heels in love with you. A woman knows when someone is not being true…it’s called woman’s intuition. So, if she senses you’re not being genuine with her, she will not let you in. If you’re honest and real with the woman you care for, she’ll offer the same in return and love will blossom before you know it. Love is patient, kind, and honest…treat the woman you care about with respect and be true to her…she’ll love you for putting her feelings first and give you the same or more in return. Love thrives in the absence of pressure (in the form of neediness and clinginess).

Step 5
Give her space. This step can be looked at in many ways and can get distorted easily. It isn’t about playing hard-to-get. The point is to give the girl the control of what happens next. This step isn’t about ignoring her so SHE has to call you, or avoiding long conversations with her to torment her into loving you. Just allow her to live her life outside you. Allow her to see a movie without you. Allow her to be without you and she will then decide to love you on her own terms.
If you’re shy, you might end up giving her too much space. You still need to express your interest in her (flirt a little, and when the time is right, kiss her). Just don’t smother her. Give her some time to reflect on those moments and realise how awesome they were.

Further Tips:-

• Be yourself and don’t try to be someone else to make a woman fall in love with you…she’ll see through this and know you’re not being sincere…if she’s going to love you, it will be for the person you already are.
• You can’t make someone fall in love with you…so if it’s not there, don’t force it…love comes naturally.
• Don’t get angry if your partner hasn’t said “I love you” yet…love takes time and needs kind encouragement to flourish.
• Don’t be afraid to fall in love yourself…you can’t have someone fall in love with you if you are not the falling in love kind. . Love often starts with friendship and often comes with time, and in that time you need to show the girl that you are worth being around. This is the fun part! The only way this will work, though, is if you believe, on some level, that you are lovable and worth being around. It’s very difficult to fall in love with someone who thinks badly of themselves.

Once in love, your relationship has to be nurtured and respected. Love is only one part of a healthy relationship–the rest depends on effort and patience.

Now that you have got to the end of the article you might be thinking I knew all of that.  But now go back, take your time and truly ask yourself the questions:

• When was the last time I bought flowers for no reason for someone I care for or love?
• When was the last time I was there for some one who needed support?
• When was the last time I cried with laughter with some one I love?

If you can’t remember when, look in the mirror, ask yourself  who you could show your love to first and how could you express that?

Remember: The more you give out the more you will receive and it is never to late to say “I love you”.

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Communication Process

Communication is the means by which people share words, ideas and feelings. When you explain an idea to someone, you are attempting to share that idea. If your communication process is successful and as a result you share that thought, it is then something that you and the other person have in common.

Sharing ideas helps people relate to each other more effectively, to work together more happily and to get jobs done faster. Effective communication makes life work.

But is that all there is to communication? What is really going on? When people say they are communicating are they only talking about sharing ideas?

How Communication Works
The illustration here demonstrates the concept of communication in its simplest form. Of course, this diagram shows a message travelling in only one direction, when in fact most communication involves two-way exchanges.

Different Ways of Communicating
Each type of communication listed below needs different skills and techniques.

Person to person -

face-to-face, reading a letter, making a phone call, dancing;

In a small group -

planning, solving problems, making decisions;

In a meeting -

presenting, bargaining, negotiating agreements;

In an organisation -

writing reports and memos, using notice boards, supervising, managing;

Through the mass media -

speaking in public, on radio or television;  writing for the media, in papers, journals,  books, advertising and public relations;

Others - training or teaching, entertaining (art, cinema).

It Takes Two to Communicate
The word ‘communication’ and similar words such as ‘community’ and ‘communion’ all have Latin origins describing the idea of ‘common-ness’, the result of sharing ideas, having shared understanding or reaching a common agreement.

To be described as communication, an exchange must involve two or more individuals, although not necessarily humans. Most living creatures communicate, but you cannot share ideas with a machine. Computers are used to communicate, but having no ideas of their own they cannot communicate with you or among themselves.

Main Elements in the Communication Process
Defining the steps involved in communication is complex, however the main parts of the process and the terms most commonly used to describe it are given below:
Who communicates?

• A sender and a receiver.

What do they communicate?

• Messages, codes and meanings.

How do messages travel?

• Via channels.

How does this happen?

• The sender has an idea and converts the idea into a message. This message is sent or transmitted and is either received or ignored by receiver. The receiver interprets the message.

What else happens?

• The receiver responds or reacts; the sender receives feedback.

The Message
A message is a unit of communication. It starts as an imaginary package that carries a meaning. Some messages are portable - for instance, a memo being passed from one person to another. Others are transferred visually - a smile, or a raised eyebrow. A handshake travels by touch. All these are messages.

In our Success Strategy for Life on Communication we go into the communication process in great detail helping you understand what it takes to be a truly great communicator, how to get your message across first time and most importantly to have those around you feel understood.

Would you like to receive the first unit in this Success Strategy for life? If so fill in the box below and we will send you your Free link to: “Communication - What did you say?”

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How to Save Money

PAY YOURSELF FIRST (P.Y.F.) -

This is a very simple and effective idea.
You don’t have a choice about paying your taxes.  You are in control of the amount to some degree, but the government still gets its taxes.  P.Y.F. is the secret to getting what you want and becoming a disciplined saver.

Saving is simply setting aside money to spend later.

It’s the same technique the government uses to collect taxes on a regular basis, although most people never think of it that way. It’s a simple trick almost every self made wealthy person uses, and may also be one your parents used to save.

P.Y.F. follows the same principle:

• Don’t give yourself a choice.
• Make it a regular part of your budget.
• Think of it as a bill you MUST pay to yourself.

Why? Because it’s the P.Y.F. money in your budget that helps you reach your goals. Why not begin today to save 10%, or just 10 cents, from every $1 you get.

Have you heard of the 10/10/10/70 philosophy, remember?

• GIVE 10%,
• SAVE 10%,
• INVEST 10% and
• SPEND the other 70% WISELY.

With a limited income, and in tough economic times, you have to make tough choices about how you spend your hard-earned money.
Having P.Y.F. money in your budget makes it possible to reach your long-term goals. Without it, you’ll probably never get past your short-term goals, and you may not even reach those.
P.Y.F. is another one of those lifetime money-management principle. You’ll be dealing with money the rest of your life, so consider P.Y.F. as the gift of a lifetime. The earlier you develop this habit of saving, the better off you’ll be.

“Change is not made without inconvenience, even from worse to better.”-Samuel Johnson

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How to Spend Less Money?

Is it really about “How to spend less money” or could it be:

“How to spend your money wisely”

“How to have something of value to show for the money”

“How to feel you are progressing towards what you want”

“How to create financial freedom”?

In my opinion “You can only truthfully know what you test and measure.”

You know when you go to the gym to lose weight? You only know it’s working because you know what you were at the beginning and you measure as you go.

You know how you tell when your boiled egg is ready? Because you have timed how long it has taken before and you repeat what worked?

Who knows where all their money goes? Who runs out of money before they run out of week? Tracking what you spend will help in setting a budget and give you the ability to create your financial freedom.

Keep a note book, or our fold away tracking card, on you and record every time you spend money. Tally expenses each week and assess your financial position. This helps curb unnecessary spending and makes you aware of where every cent of your hard earned money goes. Do this for thirty days.

Treat your personal finances as you would those of a public company; everything on paper and visible. Even if you’ve previously managed to account for within 10-15% of your monthly expenditure, without tracking it, do it anyway for the experience and distinctions the exercise will provide you.

The 5 step automatic wealth system:-

• Automatic Investment Plan (AIP) Set 10% of your gross income aside each week for investment. This will systematically increase your wealth every week.
• Debt termination plan A contribution of at least 10% of your gross income that systematically reduces your debt every month. This one step will have you completely debt free in 3-7 years (including house and car!)
• Charitable giving plan A contribution of at least 10% of your gross income as part of the responsibility and reciprocity associated with creating and being a good steward of wealth.
• Debt avoidance lifestyle strategies Living by such strategies as only paying cash and maintaining tough restrictions on the use of credit cards. Be sure to totally clear your credit card debt every month. Use the interest free period carefully and wisely. Now you are beating the banks!
• Spend the rest wisely! That’s right! PARTY!! The flexibility to spend all the rest of your money WISELY.

“The use we make of our fortune determines as to its sufficiency. A little is enough if used wisely, and too much if expended foolishly.”-Christian Bovee

By measuring exactly where you spend your money you will have brought to your awareness where you are bleeding money and where you are cutting your self short.  In doing this you will give yourself the choice to carry on the way you always have or look to stop the bleeding and spend more in areas that are  important to you.  Give it a go as I think you could surprise yourself and it could take you closer to what you really want.

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Dealing With Time Wasters

There are two main categories that time wasters or time bandits can fall under.

The first category is self generated internal time wasters. These are the things that you do yourself to waste time and are the easiest to control.

The second category is the external time wasters. These are the things other people do to waste your time. This can be more difficult to control, though it can be controlled with a little bit of effort and ingenuity.

Let’s look at the self generated internal time wasters and some possible solutions:

1) The lack of planning and priorities. Many people never get anything accomplished because they don’t know where to begin or how to proceed once started. It is important that you keep a weekly schedule. List your priorities in order of importance. If needed, discuss the priorities with your boss or co-workers. Make a schedule that starts at the beginning of each week and incorporates all of your priorities into the schedule with goals for completion dates. List every hour and what you should be working on for that hour. Make a tight schedule so there is not a lot of time in between projects. Too much time between projects is wasted time.

2) Disorganisation. Disorganised people spend way too much time looking for lost items. Keep your office neatly organized and free of clutter. If you can’t do this yourself, recruit a friend or hire someone to help you.

3) Procrastination. This is a big time waster. Set a deadline for those projects that you don’t want to do. Plan a reward for yourself when finished. Work on the project in small chunks until completed. Sometimes it helps to work on it first thing in the morning to get it out of the way.

The second category of time wasters is the external time wasters. These are not as easy to control since they involve external factors. Here are some solutions to help control or at the very least, keep them to a minimum:

1) Visitors. If you get a lot of visitors dropping to your work area this could be a huge time waster for you. The solution is to move your desk so that your back is to the door. This will make you seem less approachable. When someone stops in to talk, stand up. This will send the message that you don’t have time to chat. If all else fails be honest. Tell them thanks for dropping by, but tactfully let them know that you need to get back to work.

2) Telephone calls. Screen your calls. Let the voice mail take your calls during the day when you are busy. Schedule time during each day when you will return the calls and let your clients know when that time will be. Keep your answers short and to the point and end the conversation politely when it has achieved it’s purpose. With a little practice you can be personable and still keep the conversation short.

3) Mail. It can flood your desk and take it over before you get to it. Schedule a time each day to go through your mail. Make it a rule to handle each piece of mail only once. Throw out the junk mail immediately, file” information only” mail in a file box to be read later and respond to the others by telephone or fax. Faxing a response is a great idea because the response is immediate and takes very little time.

4) Email. Clean out your email box daily and don’t use your business email address for personal use. Make an auto responder to send people letting them know when you will be checking your e-mails and stick to it (batching your work). Try to deal with each email now if it will take less than 2 minutes otherwise you could be wasting time rereading and reappraising what you might do with it. If you cannot deal with it now ask yourself can I delegate the job?  If not ask yourself is it important, is it urgent and make a time when you will deal with it?

Using these solutions, your productivity will increase and your stress level on the job will decrease. The best part is, you can say goodbye to the time bandits forever!

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Finding Happiness - it isn’t just in the fairytales

It’s my experience when working with people that being happy is high on their list of wants.So in this sometimes chaotic, competitive, demanding and unsympathetic world, how can we find contentment? We can choose to be happy, now, we can choose to think pleasant thoughts, now.

Here are my thoughts and some tips on how to be happy.

You can be happier than you are right now, not matter how your life is going.
Happiness is a state of mind in which our thinking is pleasant.
It’s not just something that happens to us but is something we have direct control over.
Most people postpone happiness telling ourselves we’ll be happy when-we get married/divorced, we are successful, get a better job/retire, win lotto, have a baby/when the kids leave home, lose weight, have plastic surgery, find true love, find ourselves, find the meaning of life, or some other distant event or circumstance. So we wait for something that might never happen, or if it does, prove not to be the solution we thought it would. We think being happy depends on something happening to us or on us deserving it. We need a reason to be happy.
And most of us sabotage our own happiness by:

• Expecting perfection - one of the all time biggest myths!
• Concentrating on externals to bring us happiness-other people, acquiring things, achieving things.
• Fretting and being irritated over trivial irritations such as traffic jams, having to wait, being passed over for promotion, other peoples’ rudeness, a waiter getting our order wrong, or any of the countless other small ways in which the Universe lets us know it does not care about our convenience.

We can choose to be happy by:

• Having happiness as a mental attitude, making it a habit.
• Being happy for no reason at all, simply because we want to be, because it feels good and we want to feel good.
• Breaking the habit of feeling annoyed every time anything goes wrong.
• Not seeing setbacks as blows to our self-esteem (don’t take the traffic jam or the insults personally).
• Not letting events and other people dictate what we think and do.
• Even if things are really bad and we cannot be happy, at least we don’t need to make things worse by thinking dramatically negative thoughts such as ‘this is a disaster, a catastrophe, I’m devastated, I’ll never get over this.’ Such thoughts are not facts, only opinions and therefore alterable.
• Human beings are goal oriented so it is much easier to be happy if we are striving for something. Working towards something focuses the mind on a positive, takes it off problems, and gives us the pleasant expectation of something to look forward to.
• When faced with a problem, don’t bemoan the misfortune but face it and act positively to solve it (a goal to work toward).
• Accepting that happiness is not something that happens to us, it is something we can make happen.
• In times of distress and crisis using memories of happy times and successes to help get us through and to inspire us.
• Closing our minds to negative thoughts and redirect our thinking toward positive and pleasant things.
• Focusing on what is good and pleasing and ignore the rest.
• Choosing to think about only happy past memories and never dwell on unhappy ones.
• Choosing to think kindly and tolerantly about others and avoid criticizing and judging them.
• Choosing not to see other peoples’ rudeness or thoughtless as a personal attack.
• Getting rid of the unrealistic expectation that everything will always go our way.
• Believing life is still good even if we can’t have everything we want.
• Deciding to focus on what we have rather than what we lack.
• Deciding to give at least as much as we expect to receive.

In the words of Allen Chalmers:
The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.
Put the above changes into practice for a month and see how much better you feel.

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Steps To A Healthy Self-Image

Why do angels fly?
Because they take themselves lightly.

“It’s time to take an inventory of who you are, making sure you don’t sell yourself short. No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.
Did you take that point in? I’ll say it again because I want you to understand and remember it.

No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.

There are many reasons why you should like yourself just the way you are. Common sense demands it! Try this scenario. Would you swap your eyesight for $100,000? Or your legs for $1,000,000?  Would you swap your good health with a person with poor health for $100,000? Take a moment now.  Look down at your legs; feel the strength of your back; how great is your vision and what sounds do you hear all around with those great ears of yours? What are these things worth? One billion dollars? More/less?  Fortunately you don’t have to swap one asset (health) for another (money). There is another, far less costly road to complete wealth. If you allow yourself to learn and build on
the foundations of character, faith, integrity, love, loyalty and honesty, you can have them all! Health, wealth, happiness, peace, friends, security and the rest.
Remember, you are one in a billion! UNIQUE ! Just like a painting by Picasso or Rembrandt, you are a rare, exclusive and different individual. Your qualities give you enormous value.

Think about the following story. If you had the only car in town you’d have a very valuable possession - unless you leave it parked in the garage! Now, you are the only one of your type in town, the only one in existence. So, take you and your talent and use it!
If you are struggling to feel good about yourself, feeling a little jaded, then try a quick and easy make-over, a bit of spit and polish. When you make up and dress up, you look up.  Research has clearly shown that how we look has a definite bearing on the way we feel.  The first step to a new, improved you could be as simple as a haircut, a new shirt or a facial.

Build a healthy self-image with a series of short steps.

One reason many people never attempt new things is FEAR OF FAILURE.

Start in a small way, build confidence and transfer one area of success to another. Athletes see themselves clearing the bar, breaking a time barrier. This visualisation is used by top performers the world over, but it is something we can all do. See yourself winning!  Self-image improves performance, which improves self-image, which improves performance, which . . . . . which leads to success.
Do you get the picture?

Learn from the ’successful failures’ of others.
Thomas Edison’s teacher called him a dunce. He failed over 14,000 times to perfect the incandescent light. However, he didn’t see himself as a failure. According to Edison, he found 14,000 ways that did not work!

Albert Einstein failed courses in maths.

Henry Ford was broke at 40.

Walt Disney went broke seven times and had a nervous breakdown before success came.

These people succeeded because they persevered.

So to improve our lives we don’t have to re-invent the wheel. People have been feeling good about themselves and leading very successful lives for thousands of years. We may all be unique, but there are certain philosophies and tried and true methods that work for us all.”

Find what works for you and make a time in your diary to do it, not later, not when you see if you can fit it in but right NOW!

Give it a go and be all you truly are.

Extract taken from “Your Guide to a Healthy Self-Esteem”

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Quick Start to Finding Your Values

Beginning with the End in Mind

‘Begin with the end in mind’, advises Stephen Covey in his highly-praised book, the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.  Covey’s principle rests on the idea that all things are created twice: there’s a mental or first creation, and a physical or second creation.  This means everything is first created in our heads.

To begin with the end in mind means starting with a clear understanding of your destination.  Most of us are walking down the road of life, checking the road-signs as we go, and wondering where on earth we are.  Some of us have detailed road maps, and are following the paths plotted by previous explorers.  What Covey suggests is that we all need an understanding of our destination - in other words, a vision.  Without a vision, we are just meandering along the road.  We also need our own compass, or set of guiding principles, which will direct us in life.  This compass needs to be fashioned by our own unique hands, and will help us on our own unique journey.

It is important to remind yourself that you are not your values.  You are much more than your values.  These values are not the result of a master plan for your life and intelligent choices you have made, rather they are mostly the priorities that have been conditioned or programmed into you.

With the understanding of what your vision for your life is, if you are going to redesign/ improve your life, what values would you choose to have to ensure you live the life you’ve always dreamed of?

That is, in order to be the best person you could possibly be, what would your values need to be?

Once you have settled on your five highest values you have to spend the rest of your time living up to them.

Imagine if you had a coach, could that make it easier to have clarity of your values?  Could a professional assist keeping you on track living up to these values?

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Team Building - you will amaze yourself

Would you like a tailor made workshop?  We produce workshops on request for:

• Businesses
• Clubs
• Groups or
• Individuals

If you want to know more e-mail info@confidentfuture.com.au

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The Secret About Getting More Done In Less Time

Perhaps one of the biggest secrets to achieve more in less time is applying the “80/20″ rule.

The “80/20” rule also known as the “Pareto Principle” or “The Vital Few” states that 80% of your results come from 20% of your efforts, or alternatively, it can also mean 20% of your results will come from 80% of your efforts.

This rule fits nicely with all aspects of our life. For instance:

• 20% of your clothes will be worn 80% of the time
• 80% of the world’s money is in the hands of 20% of the people
• 20% of companies within an industry will conduct 80% of the business of that industry
• 80% of motor vehicle accidents will be caused by 20% of motorists

As far as time management is concerned, applying this rule and its effect on your life will surely help you spend your time more wisely.

You will come to realise that all those little chores in your life and those that get in the way are often classified as “should-dos”. These can be annoying because these are the things that need to be done but have very little impact on your happiness, satisfaction or sense of achievement towards the goals you have set forth.

Delegate

Look for alternative ways to accomplish these little chores. You can hire someone to help you or if you are on a tight budget, you can always consider bartering - in exchange for the tasks you want done, you can offer other assistance while you are at it doing yours. Remember that you can also delegate most of the “should-dos”.

Batching

By grouping repetitive tasks together you will save the time it takes to set up and pack up for each task.  For example:

• Instead of going to the shops to buy food 3 times per week go once and do one big shop.
• Do all your clothes washing once or twice a week only.
• When you cook a meal make extra to do another meal.
• Automate (direct debit) the payment of regular household bills: gas, electric, mobile …

Once you get rid of some of the “should-dos”, you can now channel the time saved towards the “valued” - tasks which you place more importance and adds value towards achieving your goals.

You will then come to realize that you will have an improved outlook on life, feel great about yourself and be motivated to get more accomplished.

Know what you want

Would you like to know what you really want?  Do you feel that you need to have some kind of control? Like being in the driver’s seat, so that you will be able to drive to the “places” you want to go?

Here are some tips to help you realize what you really want:

1. Make time for yourself. Use the time to reflect on where you are and what you want with your personal life, your relationship, your personal growth etc.
2. Ask yourself which are the things in your current life that take most of your time and which the least. What are the reasons for the outcome?
3. Do the things that you are passionate about. It will have the “staying” power. You will be able to last longer doing them and you might not want to stop.
4. Fast forward to age 85. Have you accomplished what you have set for yourself? Have you made milestones accomplishments along the way? Did you make an impact on somebody’s life, relationship etc?
5. You must be realistic with your goals. You must be able to feel good accomplishing one major task, instead of completing a series of them and still not feeling that sense of accomplishment.

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