NLP Values
This video shows how valuable NLP Values truly are (Excuse the pun) and gives an overview of the process involved. Enjoy and please leave a comment with your thoughts.
NLP
Why NLP Will Never Be Accurately Represented on Wikipedia
When you visit the Neuro-Linguistic Programming article on Wikipedia you may notice the big bold warning at the top:
Screen capture at the top of the NLP Wikipedia article taken 7th January 2012.
How does something like Neuro-Linguistic Programming, an increasingly well established field that has existed since the 1970’s, become a battleground on a well known website like Wikipedia? Now, you may be wondering: How is that a problem? I feel it is a problem because when anyone in the world types “NLP” or “Neuro-Linguistic Programming” into Google the first result they are likely to see is this unbalanced account that has been hacked apart of many years by more than a few people with an agenda contrary to one of spreading accurate and reliable information. Yes, NLP has attracted skepticism. But it has also helped thousands, if not millions, of people around the world. If we count the client lists of Anthony Robbins, Tad James, John Grinder, Richard Bandler and Chris Howard alone then we are talking about huge numbers of people. That is before any consideration is given to those Trainers that they have trained to teach these tools and techniques too.
The best summary I’ve read of the situation with the NLP Wikipedia article is:
… “despite the Wikipedia rules about what can appear on the site, the NLP-related page has been awash with lies, misinformation and useless citations for almost as long as the page has been in existence. To put it bluntly, content of the page have been largely controlled by one or more “sockpuppet masters”, who have done their best to keep the page filled with highly selective “evidence” designed to support their attacks on what they imagine “NLP” to be. All comments and evidence which contradict the misinformation is usually cleared from the page within a day or two of being posted.”…
It seems like the current situation exists because of a few individuals who have created fake accounts (Also known as sockpuppets) to spur on the debate. But the problem is that these individuals have more than the upper hand in this situation. Wikipedia has very, very strict rules that govern what can and cannot be posted to the website. And the content guidelines are very specific:
…”Primary (original) research, such as proposing theories and solutions, original ideas, defining terms, coining new words, etc. If you have completed primary research on a topic, your results should be published in other venues, such as peer-reviewed journals, other printed forms, or respected online publications. Wikipedia can report about your work after it is published and becomes part of accepted knowledge; however, citations of such reliable sources are needed to demonstrate that material is verifiable, and not merely the editor’s opinion.”…
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:What_Wikipedia_is_not
And this is the crux of our problem. NLP doesn’t exist in ‘reliable sources’ very often. In fact, the founders seemed to have made a conscious decision to focus on modelling what works, writing it down themselves and sharing it with their audience. There is a lot involved in Hangon, you’re probably saying, they wrote it down? Can’t we reference their hundreds of books? Nope. Books written by people within the field don’t count as ‘reliable sources’.
The biggest problem seems to be that the people most threatened by NLP, the biggest critics so to speak, are often in the best position to create criticism in ‘reliable sources’ such as University Journals, papers at Academic Conferences and so on. And while criticism in these ‘reliable sources’ is not very prevalent, under the Wikipedia rules it is much more acceptable to be included. In fact, contributions to the Wikipedia article referencing the books written by authors who are NLP Trainers can be deleted as an unreliable source!
Until Wikipedia relaxes their rules OR NLP becomes more established and verified in these ‘reliable sources’ I being NLP will never be accurately represented on Wikipedia. I welcome your discussion. If you have ideas, suggestions or comments then join the discussion and let me know!
Further reading for those who are interested:
- Wikipedia article on Neuro-Linguistic Programming
- Wikipedia Discussion Page for the article on Neuro-Linguistic Programming
- Master Sock Puppeteer Outed? on NLP Connections Forum
Motivation with Neuro-Linguistic Programming
In the latest video from Jenny Wensing she lifts the cover on motivation just in time for 2012. Discussing the difference between Towards Motivation and Away Motivation Jenny then shares with you how you can better motivate yourself through changing how you use language. For a fast and simple motivation top up watch this video, change your language and enjoy your results!
Wishing you each and every success in 2012 – may this be your best year yet!
The Power Relationship Question
In this video Jenny Wensing shares The Power Relationship Question that you can use to better understand your partner and improve your intimate relationship. Watch this video for a quick exercise that you can implement immediately in your life. An ideal video for anyone that is in an intimate relationship or wants to be.
For further information about The 5 Love Languages and to take the online test check out this previous blog post:
» The 5 Love Languages
Goals May Be Making You Fail
Watch this video for information about how goal setting may actually be making you fail. This is important if you’re setting goals, super important if you ever want to achieve them. Watch on for more information…
Read Forbes.com for a quick summary of the Journal article:
» Visualize Success If You Want To Fail (Forbes)
Wording for a Coach Money Back Guarantee
Recently while teaching a NLP Practitioner Training in Perth, Western Australia several people were interested in my specific wording for a Money Back Guarantee. In my experience the key to a good money back guarantee is that it must be quickly and easily explainable to the (potential) client. This is the wording that I use with the client over the phone when we first speak about booking a session:
I offer a money back guarantee. What that means is that after we have finished our sessions together that if you are not entirely happy you can contact me within 30 days and I will either work with you for free until you have your outcome, or refund your money if we both agree that your outcome is not achievable together.
At the start of our first session I also request that the Client signs a Client Agreement. This makes clear what I am able to help them with, the results they can expect and their responsibilities as a Client towards making this process work. It is more detailed than what I say on the phone and, importantly, it specifies that the Money Back Guarantee relies on them doing their agreed tasks outside of our sessions together.
This combined approach is good for the Client because it is clear and easy to understand. And it is good for the Coach because it places the responsibility back onto the Client to contact you if they’re not entirely happy with their results. Think about it, when a client doesn’t contact you after a session you can now rest in peace, knowing that they’re happy with the result. And if they contact you then you’ve got an excellent opportunity for some high quality feedback that will allow you to become an even better coach in the future. A win-win!
Get the Life You Want with NLP
A question that comes up a lot is “How can I get the life that I want?” and the answer is surprisingly simple. There are a few key ingredients that go into making the difference between having the life that you want, and having something else entirely. With your permission I am going to share a few NLP based ideas with you that, when you implement them, will put you well on your path to having the life that you want.
What is it that you want?
This may seem like an over simplification but so many people never get really clear (and specific) about what it is that they want. Do you want to be fitter? How much fitter? Could you do a specific fitness event (The fitness for a marathon is very different to the fitness needed to run for 5 minutes on a treadmill) or would you weigh a certain amount OR would you be able to wear a certain pair of jeans that don’t fit anymore? GET SPECIFIC. And write it down.
Focus on what you want!
It isn’t enough to just work out what you want, write it down and then forget about it. If you want it to happen quickly then you need to start focusing on it. How you do this is totally up to you. Maybe you will create a vision board with pictures representing what you want. Maybe you will keep a public journal of your progress on Facebook. Maybe you will have a Coach to keep you accountable. The more you focus on what you want, the faster you will get the life that you want – it is that simple.
Take ACTION
This is the most important ingredient. Taking Action means doing things (Often on a daily basis) to take you closer and closer to what you want. Want to be wealthier? Start today and start putting some of your earnings towards savings, investments or paying off debt. Want to be healthier? Change your eating habits and consult a fitness expert. Want a better relationship? Start doing whatever it is that you need to do to take yourself towards a stronger relationship. If you don’t know what to *do* then the chances of doing it aren’t very high so be sure to seek assistance for an expert if needed.
Once you pull these three components together you are on the fast track to having the results that you want. There is very little that you can’t have if you are prepared to put in the time, effort and work to obtain it. Use these tips and you will be there before you know it.
To your success!
NLP Eye Movements and Modalities
Eye Movements are a commonly attributed to NLP and there is a great model that shares what it can mean when the eyes move in certain directions. As with all NLP models, this is a generalisation. What that means is that generally it will be true, but it won’t be true all of the time. Keep reading to discover more about how NLP puts meaning to the micro-movements of the eyes.
NLP is about noticing patterns. So, in NLP, we are not so much interested in content as in process. Often this can be an interesting transition to make. The first step is to pay attention to the process of your interactions with others — listen to the form, watch the form, feel the form, and not get involved in the content. We’re interested in how things are done, and not necessarily why or with specific details regarding content.
Of course, the next question then, is how specifically do you “listen to the form, watch the form, feel the form,” and not get involved in the content? The “modalities” are one way of categorising exactly what a person does inside their head as they think. They are a way or a model for the process that a person does in their head as they make up an Internal Representation. In the process of creating NLP, Bandler and Grinder discovered that by looking at someone’s eyes, you could tell how they were thinking. Not what they were thinking, but how. You could tell what they were doing inside their heads.
Based on observations by the original researchers, when people look up, they’re visualising. When they look horizontally to the left and right, they’re either remembering or constructing sounds. When they look downward and to our left, they’re accessing their feelings. And when they look downward and to our right, they’re talking to themselves (Auditory digital).
*Note: The chart above is for a normally organised right-handed person. Many left-handed people and some ambidextrous people will have eye movements that are reversed.
Here is more of an explanation about what each of the eye movements mean.
Vr: Visual Remembered
(Visual Recall) — Seeing images from memory, recalling things you have seen before.
Vc: Visual Constructed
(Visual Created) — Images of things that you have never seen before. When you are making it up in their head, you are using Visual Constructed.
(NOTE: A small percentage of people access visual modalities by defocusing their eyes. When this happens, the eyes will usually stay in the centre.)
Ar: Auditory Remembered
(Auditory Recall) — When you remember sounds or voices that you’ve heard before or things that you’ve said to yourself before.
Ac: Auditory Constructed
(Auditory Created) — Making up sounds that you’ve not heard before. For example
K: Kinesthetic
(Feelings, Sense of touch) — You generally look in this direction when you’re accessing your feelings, or recall the physical feeling of touching something.
Ad: Auditory Digital
(Talking to Yourself) — This is where your eyes move when you’re having internal dialogue.
Typically, every time we access information, we move our eyes in that particular direction which facilitates using that part of our neurology. The mind and body are absolutely interconnected, so each time we access our visual memory, for example, we move our eyes upward and to our left. (If you’re watching someone access visual memory, you will see them move their eyes upward and to your right.)
If you would like more information about NLP Eye Movements then drop us an email or give us a call. We also have a handy list of questions that you can ask to test and discover the eye movements with a partner. Contact Lloyd on lloyd@confidentfuture.com.au for more information.
Making Your Future Goals SMART with NLP
This video shares how to create goals in your future that are S.M.A.R.T. and more likely to succeed. Make yourself a cuppa and enjoy this 14 minute discussion about how to improve how you write your goals. Keep your ears open for the take home exercise towards the end.
Click to watch on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAIbcIQ-KIc
SMART stands for:
- Specific
- Simple
- Measurable
- Meaningful to you
- As if now
- Achievable
- Realistic
- Responsible (Ecological)
- Timed
- Towards what you want
If you enjoyed this video and you’re based in Perth then come along and join us for our next Meetup event. For full details and to RSVP check out our full list of events here: http://www.meetup.com/Perth-NLP-Practice-Group/
The Mind is Like a DVD Player
Have you ever noticed how DVD Players are getting more and more complicated lately? When I go to visit my friends it has gotten to the point that some of my friends don’t have any idea of how to operate their DVD Player themselves. They rely on help from their partner to get it setup to the point where they can just press ‘play’. The nice thing about DVD Players though is that if you ever get really *stuck* you can get the manual out and get to the bottom of it.
The mind is complicated too. But there is no instruction manual! Lots of people rely on others to ‘press their buttons’ and cheer them up when they are sad, motivate them when they are feeling stuck and keep them going in the right direction. NLP is the closest thing I have found to being an instruction manual for the mind. It contains a set of instructions that, when I follow them, have me feel how I want to feel. They let me do what I want to do and even better than that I can help others with their mind too if they want me to.
If you want to have full control over your mind then I’m very much in favour of learning NLP through a proper Practitioner training (They are normally 7 days). The next best thing is attending practice groups each month or finding some books on the topic. I’m running a Practitioner Course this November and I am looking for people in Perth (or that can travel to Perth) who would benefit from learning how to press their own buttons. Now, as you read this you will know whether this is something for you but what I am equally interested in is whether you think this would be of interest to the people that you know. Please help me spread the word because it is really important to me to help others learn to take charge of their minds!
You can signup for this course in November at any time but there is a discount available to those who are reading this article. And as soon as you have paid your a deposit I get to post you a pre-study kit full of great information to have you learning about NLP immediately. The pre-study kit contains three of the best books about NLP that are available, three DVDs introducing NLP, Hypnosis and Time Line Therapy along with a comprehensive Reference Manual.
This course is going to be a real learning sensation. You’ll not only learn the instruction manual to your mind but you will ALSO experience these techniques for yourself over the 7 days. That means you will come out the end of this course as a lighter, happier and more motivated person. I appreciate some people will want further details and you can read them here.
To get started or for more information please email me directly: lloyd@confidentfuture.com.au
Or give me a call: 0427 384 547
Or chat with me on Skype if you prefer: lloydjohnson
Want to learn more?
Then get in touch! We regularly teach NLP, Hypnosis and Time Line TherapyTM Techniques around the world. The best way to learn more is to get in touch with us by email:
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