Using a Yes Set

A “yes set” is an agreement frame that is used in many contexts, including Hypnotherapy, sales and even parenting. It is useful for leading the other person towards agreeing with you on something by getting their agreement on small, reasonable questions first. The principle is really straight forward: the likelihood of someone agreeing with your suggestion will rise significantly if they have immediately previously agreed with you on multiple other points.

Sales

A common example in Sales could be something like this:
“Are you looking for a car today? (yes) You’ve probably decided on whether you want a small car or a large car? (yes) And you probably want to see a car that is good value for money? (yes) Would you like to see this new BMW we just got in?”
Or if you were selling a service, such as Business Consulting:
“Is quality important to you? (yes) Is your time important to you? (yes) If you could be making more profit would you listen to someones suggestions? (yes) Great, then could we make an appointment to discuss what we could help you with?”

Hypnotherapy

In a Hypnotherapy setting is extensively used in trance inductions and the setup of suggestibility tests. For example a Hypnotherapist may say:
“To begin with I want you to stand up (yes), stand with your feet apart (yes), take a big deep breath (yes) and then close your eyes and go into a deep, deep trance (suggestions).”
The client is much more likely to accept the suggestion to close their eyes and go into a deep, deep trance if the Hypnotherapist has first installed compliance using a Yes Set.

Parenting

You’ve probably already started to get the idea, but here is an example for a parent who wanted their children to go swimming:
“The sun is shining, it’s warm, it is such a beautiful day, let’s go swimming.”
As you can see with this example it is not strictly necessary to have the other person say “Yes” in response to each part of the sentence, just for them to end up agreeing with the final suggestion.

In addition to saying the questions that form a Yes Set you are also likely to find that nodding your head while waiting for their answers will increase the effectiveness of this pattern, and the speed at which they answer.

What next?

Yes Set’s occur naturally in conversation and, now that you are aware of them, you’ll probably notice them in your conversations with others and maybe even on TV. As with all linguistic patterns the key is to begin to use them. The more than you use them the easier they will become and the more you will find yourself using them in suitable situations. Enjoy!

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